THE SKINNY - The City That Never Sleeps
By Stef Skinner

Given the influx of fashion and street-style blogs, so much emphasis is placed on putting together your best ‘day time’ and ‘going out’ looks, we never really think about the nights we just plan on vegging-out at home.

What began as my perfect kind of New York night — a rare date with my couch, DVR, and the finest take out the East Village had to offer, courtesy of Seamless — turned into a ‘what were you thinking getting dressed in the dark look’ situation.

The timeline of events went something like this:

1:30am

A faint knock on my front door… but I think nothing of it, since my dog doesn’t even flinch.

2:30am

The doorbell to my actual apartment rings — no way in hell I’m getting up. Who would at that hour? (Insert minor panic, but back to bed).

3:50am

Knocking and door bell ringing happen at the same time. Sadie, my guard dog (or lack thereof) doesn’t even bark. I am so scared, the elastic on my finest fat pants nearly burst.

4:00am

I call my best friend, Ingrid. We have a pact that we are each other’s +10 emergency friend — the call you always answer no matter what hour it is. During this time we talk about an aggressive vs. non-aggressive knock, and determine the recent events to be ‘non- aggressive,’ and then…

4:50am

…my bell is aggressively ringing…15 times in a row. I shakily whisper to Ingrid, “Please call the police.”

 

Trembling, I look out the window. A fire truck and squad cars are pulling up to the ‘scene,’ as I stand there in my mismatched pajamas, hair in a panic stricken bun, and pale as a ghost. I open my door to find my neighbor in his bathrobe.  He tells me he had called the fire department, and I tell him I’d called the police.

Turns out a pipe had burst, and the entrance of our building was flooding. The knocking and banging wasn’t someone coming to attack me; it was someone trying to figure out what was happening. Then low and behold, my bathroom is covered in water.

Being single in the city, they say you should always look your best, because you never know who or what is around the corner. Like when a group of very good looking police officers and firemen pop up in your apartment, for example, and you look half homeless with just the right amount of disheveled.

Here is what I learned from my ‘relaxing’ evening at home:

  • Just because you are behind closed doors doesn’t mean you are always going to be alone.
  • Maybe the ‘off-duty’ look shouldn’t just be applied to a relaxed street-style outfit, but also into your off-night wardrobe.
  • The Housewives and Kardashians always look perfect before bed and right when they wake up. It may not be bad to be ‘fresh-faced’ so you look great around the clock.
  • Invest in grown up pajama sets that do not consist of my Class of ‘97 shirt from the eighth grade and elastic bottoms that have moved with me since my freshman year of college.
  • Make more plans or maybe it’s time to hit the dating scene.
  • Start a pajama inspired blog that is not just informative, but authoritative.

12 Responses to The Skinny: The City That Never Sleeps

  1. puddytoes says:

    How about asking through the door ‘who is it’ and installing a peep hole.

  2. happygael says:

    Buy a machete. Late at night I answer the door with it in my hand. It works.

  3. Knownofear says:

    Interesting to compare the FB comments above to these. Facebookers passing time vs. individuals actually trying to glean information from an article.

  4. mwaura1 says:

    This is why some us look down on women. This is not a story worth listening to, it sounds like childish juvenile crap, coming out of a 13 year-old girl twit’s mouth “very good-looking police men and fire men” is this what all women think about???God forbade one day those good looking blah, blah blah, will maybe show up at your door when you are disheveled and probably dead and then let us know what is in your mind then. What nincompoop would come up with such crap?

  5. MoreMoreMore says:

    This is a stupid article.

  6. Vic says:

    Why call yourself fat???? I am sure myself and others would be pleasantly please to have you answer the door in your birthday suit.

  7. Formica Davis says:

    Been thru this scenario many times. Still sucks the 10th time! The people saying have a gun ready must not know they are illegal in NYC. I wouldn’t have answered the door either unless I see 2 cops or NYFD. Peepholes are mandatory so u can at least check. If it’s a stranger call the police.

  8. Carol S Kohn says:

    thankfully, this has never happened to me where I’ve lived in my lifetime!

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