The ‘Gigs’ section on Craigslist is full of bizarre and interesting opportunities. I once made $20 an hour reading a psychology textbook to an elderly man while he slept. I once hosted Rock Band video game parties at various bars across New York City. And then there was that time a modeling audition lead me to a hospital room where a morbidly obese man in a cowboy hat and a plastic sheriffs’ badge asked for my social security number between gasps. Here are four shady Craigslist ads that are really just looking for prostitutes.
Foot fetish ads are often advertising for young girls to attend parties where men can massage and kiss their feet for upwards of $100 hour (or possibly even per 20 minute sessions) — no sex involved, and it sounds too good to be true because it is.
Once upon a time when I was naive enough to think people were honest, I applied for a foot fetish gig. Two days later I was entering a nondescript beige warehouse type building in Hell’s Kitchen and riding the elevator up to some higher floor, where the doors opened to reveal an entirely black floor lit with black lights. In the back was a classy looking bar and lounge peppered with sultry girls in lingerie. The interview process began between myself and a bald guy with tribal armbands, tribal flames on his forearms. No dicks involved, right? He assured me that there were no dicks involved.
We went into a back room where I proceeded to step on his chest and face with my bare feet. Fine. He sucked on my toes. Fine, also to be expected. But when I sat down on the end of the mattress, which was really a blowup mattress covered with a loose sheet and sort of rose off the ground beneath my weight, he began to kiss the soles of my feet and I noticed his arm shaking rapidly, hand moving just out of my eyesight. I knew better than to think he was furiously itching his leg. He was at least kind and understanding about my asking him to stop. I didn’t take the job.
You’re not getting $100 for fifteen minutes of innocent foot kissing. Don’t be so naive. Foot fetish jobs are for girls who are willing to jerk dudes off with their feet. As long as you’re fine with this, go right ahead.
Party With Men
You might make a base salary ‘partying’ with (AKA sitting on the bonered laps of) creepy old rich guys, but these ‘party with rich men who really want intellectual company and conversation’ ads are just a legal way of saying “high-end prostitutes wanted.”
Because these people are not allowed to come right out and say, “Come to a party full of older men who want to pick you out from a crowd of girls and buy your vagina for sex,” a guise of innocent partying and chatting is used. Sure, you can go to these whack parties and choose not to exchange numbers with any of the men or have sex with them for money at some point later on, but you definitely won’t be making the *~*Wow Up To $2500 a Night!$$ *~*~ as advertised.
Female Actresses – $1000 – $5000
No one paying an actress that much money needs to use Craigslist to find them. Unless it’s for porn. There are plenty of professional and legitimate sites that both union and non union film jobs can use to search the head shots and portfolios of hundreds of people who are actually interested in acting as a career, and many of these sites are free.
People who actually want a massage will call any of the billion spas and massage parlors all over New York City, or better yet, use a Groupon to get a sweet discount on an hour long, full body massage performed by someone who is licensed and actually knows what they’re doing. The ‘no experience needed’ notation on all the ‘masseuse wanted’ ads on Craigslist are code for ‘I haven’t discovered BackPage yet.’
Featured image courtesy of Drew Villano